Happy Holidays

Hi All,

I'm a bit late with my blog this week because I was away on holiday. Hurray! I spent a week in sunny(really sunny) Jamaica. I was there for a family celebration. Back now to the usual English weather. Grey and wet. (Smile)
Going on holiday is good though. It helps to remind us that outside our mundane lives, there is something better. It reminds us that when this ordinary life is over and we are called to our 'proper' home, 'eye would not have seen nor ear heard', the eternal holiday that God has waiting for us.
For those of you who like me are missing the sunshine, here are a few thoughts I hope will make you smile and so brighten up your day. Laugh.

A paraprosdokian (from the Greek meaning 'beyond expectation') is a
 figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is
 unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or
 reinterpret the first part.

 *   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I
 stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 *   The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 *   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
 beat you with experience.

 *   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
 until you hear them speak

 *   If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 *   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 *   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

*   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in
 a fruit salad.

 *   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed
 to tell you why it isn't.

 *   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
 research.

 *   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
 stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 *   I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

 *   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of
 emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

 *   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 *   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
 with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 *   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
 successful man is usually another woman.

 *   A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

 *   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
 skydive twice.

 *   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
 with.

 *   There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
 can't get away.

 *   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

 *   You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 *   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
 hit the target.

 *   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 *   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 *   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in
 a garage makes you a car.

 *   A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
 you look forward to the trip.

 *   Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they
 were.

 *   I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a
 shot of tequila.

 *   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
 Department usually uses water.

Stay happy. Stay blessed.
Annie